Friday, April 22, 2011

Happily Ever After

Tammy & Bo - March 4, 1999  

My sister recently found this photo of us on our wedding day.  I have never seen it before!  As I looked at it wondering who those people were, it really made me think.  When two people get married they have NO idea what is in store for them or where their lives will take them.   Sometimes I wonder what would happen if we could see the future complete with good times, bad times, trials, triumphs, etc. Would we still jump in with two feet?  We all have ideas or plans in our heads, but they are just ideas and plans.  Here were some of mine:
  • Love My Husband unconditionally forever
  • Go to college and get my degree
  • Have 4-6 kids
  • Teach them all to read before kindergarten :)
  • Teach them all to play instruments starting at age 4 and have a family rock band
  • Be in a rock band with my husband
  • Open a Studio that taught dance, gymnastics, guitar lessons, singing lessons, etc. 
  • Buy a house, but never build one - too much work.
  • NEVER drive a mini-van - only an SUV
  • Live Happily Ever After
Sounds feasible right? 

I am very glad that I am (usually) an easy going person and that I am open to change.   Otherwise, I would not have been very happy that my life did not turn out exactly the way I had planned it. (Not bad, just different)  If we get too stuck on what we THINK we want or need, we will have a hard time accepting the Lord's plan for us. 

Here is how things have turned out (so far):
  • Definiltly love my husband unconditionally forever
  • Went to College for 2 years in business and 2 years for paralegal studies.  Although I have a wealth of knowledge and information, I have no papers to prove it.
  • I have three kids - so far.  This topic is still open for discussion.  
  • Brody was not reading before kindergarten and had a really hard time until Mrs. Tony came along.  After a month with her he was reading great!  He is now 7 and tested at 7th grade level for reading comprehension.  Wyatt could read many words before he was kindergarten age, but couldn't speak them.  That will soon change :)  Hazel still has a year and a half so I guess I better get on the reading program with her!
  • The kids have not been able to learn instruments yet, but I am NOT giving up.  They are all VERY interested in music and hopefully have inherited their father's natural musical talent.
  • Played in a rock band with my husband. :)
  • Haven't opened a studio but still hope to teach guitar lessons to children someday.  
  • Built two houses - and it was a TON of work.
  • Totally drive a mini van.
  • Also:
  • Helped put my husband through law school
  • Helped my husband open his Law practice
  • Moved 9 times and in three different states (children were all born in different states)
  • Had a son diagnosed with Autism and another with sensory processing disorder
  • Spent 4 years (so far) treating the boys bio-medically and have done many other treatments
  • Did 3 years of Behavioral therapy with Wyatt which included hiring and training therapists, doing scheduling, payroll, etc.  A definite full time job on top of the Mom job I already had. 
  • Moved across the country without my husband for the boys to attend Brain Balance. 
Now- this is obviously not even CLOSE to what has happened in the last 12 years, but it was all I could think of at midnight.  

There were a few things that turned out as I had planned, but not very many and that is okay.  It is good to  have goals, but I feel that too much planning doesn't allow for change, learning, growth, new and exciting things to happen,  etc.  It also sets you up for disappointment since it is not realistic to think that everything will turn out EXACTLY the way you see fit.

This reminds me of a line from one of my favorite movies "17 Again".   This movie just makes me laugh so hard!   

The father in this movie had dreamed of going to college and playing basketball.   But after getting his high school girlfriend pregnant and getting married, he was never able to do that.  At one point he says to his soon to be ex-wife  "I am extremely disappointed with my life"  He had spent 20 years wishing things had turned out the way HE had planned.  In doing that, he lost his family and children.  Throughout the movie he realizes that the way his life had turned out was WAY better than what he had planned.  He had a beautiful family and a place to call home and that was the most important.  In the end he says what is one of my favorite movie lines of all time:

"You were the best decision I ever made.  I just forgot"

Gives me the chills every time.  :) 

I am not disappointed with my life.  I truly believe my life is WAY better than the way I had planned.  Is it easy?  No.  Is it simple?  No.  Is it without trials, pain, heartache?  No.  But....  Has it been fun?  Yes.  Has it been rewarding?  Yes.  Has it been exciting and ever changing? Yes.  Have I grown as a person, a mother, a wife, a sister and a friend?  Yes.  Have I learned more in the last 5 years than I feel a lot of people learn in a lifetime?  Yes!  Has it brought me happiness that I didn't know was possible?  Yes. 

Okay, so my life has not been your typical "fairy tale", but one thing I know for sure: 

We will live Happily Ever After :)

P.S.  My husband is coming tomorrow and we haven't seen him in three weeks!  We are so excited to spend the boys' birthdays and Easter together as a family.  You will probably be seeing very short and sweet blog posts for the next few days. :)


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