I Got Nothin'

That's right.  It is 2:30 in the morning and I have nothing to say.  Well, I actually have a lot to say, but no energy to say it.  Today was not fun - to put it nicely. 

**Disclaimer: This blog is meant to be real.  There are plenty of hard/bad times, but I try to keep things positive.  However, because it is the journal of my life, I want it to be just that - life.  Last time I wrote about my bad day, I got a couple of comments that it was too sad.  However, if I am always positive and only write the good all the time, it would not give an accurate depiction of what really goes on here.  Life is hard right now.  But that is okay because it is getting better.  It will all be worth it.  I remember reading blogs (back when I had 10 seconds of free time in a day) and feeling depressed because everyone's life seemed so perfect.  They wrote about their extravagant vacations, immaculately clean houses, their perfect spouses and they posted pictures of their perfectly dressed children with not a hair out of place.  They never really wrote about hard times, bad days, etc.  But those are definitely not accurate depictions of real life.  :)

The Bad:

• Wyatt pooped on the carpet in his room which he has NOT been doing.  To make matters worse, the poop was more runny instead of formed.  Since we got here his bowel issues have gotten better and better and then today was bad.  Why?  Not sure.  I HATE regressions.  It must be something he is eating so now I get to try some elimination diets to figure out what it is.  But still - why didn't he use the toilet? Hmmm
• I was just overall not doing good and maybe just a little cranky :)  Couldn't handle the chaos, was overwhelmed by the amount of things to do and by the messy house and it was all driving me crazy. 
• Paige wasn't doing great either - it just was one of those days where everything just went wrong. 
• We went on a walk and ended up carrying two of the three all the way home.  They are not light.
• I could go on, but we will just leave it at that.....

 The Good:

• When I left to take Brody to BB, Wyatt was standing at the door.  I said "I love you"  which once in awhile lately he is saying back which is great!  But today was different.  He said "I love you" in the most non-robotic voice I have ever heard.  It really felt like it was him REALLY saying it and FEELING it and not just saying a memorized phrase.  Paige and I both noticed it right away.  It was darling and amazing.
• We have been working on sit ups with Wyatt and he doesn't really do them well.  Paige had done them earlier in the day with him and he did ok.  Later, I tried with him and sat on his feet and said "kiss mama" and he did a sit up all by himself to come give me a kiss!  He did it a couple of times and it was so cute!  His core is getting stronger and that is what we want!
• I got to take a shower. 
• I made pumpkin muffins and modified the recipe yet again and they actually baked all the way through and didn't fall apart.  I used a mixture of pecans and walnuts and made them into flour and then just omitted the eggs and didn't use anything to replace them and also omitted the butter/coconut oil and didn't replace it.  Now if I can just remember what I did for next time...
• I got to talk to an old friend whom I haven't spoken to in 2 years.  She is doing so well and is happy and that made me happy.  
• This morning, Brody and Hazel wanted to turn on the music and dance - they LOVE that.  So we turned it on and went crazy dancing, singing, jumping around.  It was a great time!  Paige stared at us the whole time like we were nuts.  She was right.
• Paige got to take a shower.

The weird:

• When I was gone taking Brody to BB Paige heard Wyatt going potty.  She was confused because she thought Hazel was in there going potty.  SHE WAS!  Hazel was just sitting on the potty minding her own business when Wyatt came running in and stood in front of the toilet (he usually sits) and started peeing in the toilet too!  Oh my heavens - I have the funniest picture ever but I Just didn't think it was appropriate to post due to two of my children being half naked in it.  
• It is 3:00 a.m and we are still awake. 
• I think all 5 of us cried today. 

See!  Overall there were still more good things than bad!  Even writing them down like this helped me see that the day was not as bad as I thought it was.  It is so easy for one or two things to really change your view or perspective.  It is also usually the bad things you remember.  But if you really think through things, I know there is more good than bad in all of our days and we all have so much to be grateful for. 

Goodnight!  I mean good morning!  I mean.... zzzzzzz